Hitherto Unknown Secrets !

Stree is the composite of ‘s’ and ‘tri’ !

Stree is assistive in attaining three ‘dharm artha and kama ‘ ! One who is sahagamini in these three is stree . ——–Mahabharat !

Skanda purana says , what is not prohibited by dharma  to attain such happiness ,grahasthashram is important and  anukool [ she should be anu and cool ]  agrahini is instrumental for it . Husband can get fruits of dharma artha and kaama only if he has a anukuul sati .

secondly tri also refers to manasa vacha karmana . Patiantaryami Parmatma aradhana [ sadhana ] should be carried out sincerely through mind , speech and body !

Only if mind to serve husband is there is not enough .it should reflect in speech , just few good sweet words also doesnt qualify for uttam sadhana towards Lord , it should be through actions as well . All actions [ not against shashtra ] should be carried out to please Husband [ Pati antarayami Parmatma ] .

tri karan seva one who does is stree . if done properly towards Pati then SHRIPATI [ Vishnu ] will be happy and grace her Moksha . So says Katyayan !

Gautam dharma sutra describes stree as one who exercises regulation over tri – vaak ,chakshu and karma .Stree is one who does not desire anything from thought ,vision and actions not liked by the husband .

Markandeya purana says . what a man earns [ punya ] by lot of efforts and miseries , wife gets half of it by just by serving him wholeheartedly .

But in devakarya and pitrukarya , stree gets half punya only when she accompanies and assists him in it .

So what is DHARMA ?

when elders prescribe that this act will bring auspicious results and gives the desired ,then that actions [karma ] is known as dharma . What gives misery and not clearly prescribed or recommended y elders [tradition ] is not dharma .

Dharma is of two types , sadharan and vishishta .

sadharan dharma applies to everyone . everyone must carry them out . Swadhyaya , bramhacharya , patiseva these are vishishta dharma . These cannot be carried out by everyone , These can be carried out only buy those who have undergone sanskara .Sanskaara gives adhikaara [ entitles to right to carry out dharma ]

Upanayana is sanskaara for males and VIVAHA [ marraige is sanskaara ] for kanyas .

As bramhacharis [ vatu ] does agnikarya and guruseva , so also a grahini does pati seva and her gruhakarya is quivalent to agnikarya .

Shikha yagnyopaveeta maouna ,vedaadhyayan bhiksha  all these are prohibited for girls .

Similarly Sanyasa is also prohibited for WOmen .

Once upon a time in the Garga rishi’s lineage there was a rishi by name KUNI . He was mahatapasvi [ very austere ]. Knowing this world to be inconclusive and miserable , he decided to stay as bramhachari all through his life and did not marry . Except Hari dhyana , japa , tapa , anushthana he did not spend his time in any other activity . The time went  by and he became aged and old . As he became old and weak , he aspired for someone to assist him in his daily chores . He aspired if only I had a child .[ but still he did not wanted to marry ]

Visnu bhakta !!!!! can a vishnu bhaktas’ desire go unfulfilled !!!! As he wished strongly , a grown up girl took birth from his mind and stood before him as his child to serve him . Witnessing the  extreme grace of  HARI , KUNI ‘s mind exhilarated n ecstasy ! HE continued his tapasya .

Kuni’s daughter also engaged herself in tapasaya . All the proposals that Kuni brought for her , she found no match for her . she rejected all of them . At the end no proper match could be found for her .  As the time passed by , KUNI also died . Now munikumari [ daughter ] was even more free to carry out her tapasya . She undertook severe austerities , what was not possible for men even those vratas also  she undertook  with zeal . Finally she undertook Kaumar bramhcharya and she became aged and old . Her youth passed by in her jest for vratas . neither was she ever interested in marriage .

She became a VRIDHHAKANYA , she was frail ,lost lustre of youth and wrinkles appeared onto her body . SLowly with age hands and legs too lost strength . Now she was in no position to do any dharma karya or tapasya .

She decided to end her life by casting off the body and get good loka [ a place in heaven ] .As she was thinking of casting her body away , Sage NARADA came to her and said , ” oh Vriddhakanya , you have done many vrata and tapasya ! with all these austerities you have dried by your youth and body , also you have attained high wisdom and knowledge . All these will be fruitful for you [ to attain heaven , nariloka ] only  if you had done PATISEVA  [ served a husband ] . That you have not done neither have you given birth to a  child [satputra] , so you how will you get a good place in heaven . These are not just my words but also the talk in the heavens  ,So do not hurry to cast away your sadhan instrument , the body and think again what is to be done with cool mind .{ thinking his work is accomplished sage NARADA dissappeared } .

Vriddhkanya thought over the matter seriously . She came to a conclusion and called upon a gathering of all the rishis .

In the meeting she floated a proposal , that she has amassed a lot of punya . so whoever will marry her , she would give  half of her punya .  Easily and effortlessly   punya will come , in such anticipation , A rishi from the lineage of GALVA by neame ‘ Shringavaan ‘ accepted her proposal . But he insisted upon a condition . that he too wished for a austere life at that age and cannot accept to be trapped in sansaara , so he would marry vriddhakanya and stay with her for only one night .

Vriddhakanya agreed . Marriage took place .  To please Shringavaan vriddhakany with her tapas shakti acquired beauty and youth and annointing herself with all the beautiful ornaments and garments she consummated her marraige and saw to it that Shringavaan was happy . Serving him one fine day She left her body and gained upper lokas . Shringavaan also attained a good place on account of her punya .

This story suggests that marraige is just very important for fructification of the karmas for Women . All the karmas for women fructify with saoubhagya ,

What is saoubhagya ?

the shabdakalpdruma gives the meaning of subhaga as ‘patipriya ‘ . Who is more soubhagyavati , one who is most priya to her husband . [ dulhan wahi jo piyaman bhaye ]

So how to get Soubhagya [ patipriyatva ] , katyayansmriti  says it in a beautiful manner .

why only pati husband , elders , devata , gurus and supreme NARAYANA all these become pleased with santosha . So Santosha is very root of human bond and for preeti to take roots in the heart .

How to give ‘ SANTOSHA” to husband is a big question ?

Each person may have his own desires ! which desire is valid and SADHU . it is very difficult to determine . MONEY , FIGURE , BEAUTY ,CAREER ,FAME , TAPAS , PATIENCE ,  this way the list can be endless as to what makes a husband be pleased .

Money may please a person and perhaps such a person could be pleased as well but such a pleasure is temporary and preeti out of such pleased husband may also be temporary .

May i get this wife for ever in every birth and birth after birth such a feeling to come is impossible from pleasures of money fame etc . Such a feeling is possible only through Santosh !!!!!!

The lotus blooms only due to one factor , SURYAKIRAN . ie rays of SUN .

Whats one factor that makes Santosh bloom between couples , let us see what rishis say on this >>>>>

1> Bharturaadeshvartinya : one who obeys the husband [ undertakes all his words which are not against shashtra ] . such a action increases love and strengthens relationship .

2> bahubhi: vrataih agnishch toshita;  – Paramatma resides in heart of PATI [ husband ] he is the one hwo gives the feeling to love his wife and HE is the one who increases it with time and strengthens it .  SO pleasing such AGNINAMAK Paramatma residing in the husband through vrat and niyama . [ pati agnya is important in starting such a vrata ]

3> Agni can be pleased by : a. agni is symbol of speech , so keeping clean speech is agnivrat , agni is in kitchen , keeping suchi in paaka[ cooking ] is agnivrata and assisting in agnihotra  is agnivrata .

Such a upasana will give Santosha to the husband and paramatma which in turns give Soubhagya giving fructifcation to all the karmas.

Just as GURU is prateek [ idol ] for UPASANA of Vishnu for males so is HUSBAND [ PATI } is prateek for Upasana of VISHNU for females .

krishnarpanamastu .

Comments on: "Vridhhkanya itihasa – importance of marriage to Girls !" (11)

  1. Sir, what are the factors to consider while selecting a bride ? is it looks, qualification, family background, housekeeping skills ? how does shakun shastra helps in this ?


  2. karthik said:

    respected guruji,
    you have mentioned in this post that it is not possible for a woman to attain to higher lokas without marraige .. wil the same be true for men as well??


  3. Kiran Kumar said:

    Sri Vaayu Gurubhyoh Namaha,

    Namaskaara Chiraanji Gurugalige,

    Dear Guruji, your intepretation of the Satvik marriage and the Sati Dharma takes us on the visual journey and gives a picture of the Purity and the Sadhana our ancestors followed, its surely the right dharma that has been holding our culture and heritage so intact, it has been revived by such strong teachings and uravelling of the powerful texts by you guruji which can only be comprehended by your divine teachings.Its really a treat for all your followers on this blog and wish everyone gets the blessings of Sri Hari Vaayu Gurugalu to lead such an Austere Life. I strongly believe that your teachings have a Permanent Imprint on the mind of all of us and it becomes the best guideline for us to follow. Thanks Dear Guruji, for bringing in such powerful articles that reinforce our belief in the Satvik Marriage and Pure relationship. Thanks so much Dear Guruji, for leading us on the path of Satsang and request you to pen down similar articles that keeps us strong going in this age.

    Thanks and Regards,
    Sri Krishnaarpanamasthu


  4. Respected Acharya Namaskars,

    Very nice post, for leading a vedic way of married life.
    What are the vedic criteria for parents or elders to get a suitabe groom or bridegroom to their children.Parents have a big role to play for getting a good match.



  5. Namaste Acharya,

    Excellent Post !

    Please tell us where you got that picture from ? It is one of the best SeetaRaam Kalyana pictures I’ve ever seen. It’s so alive, the expressions are perfect and the fire seems so alive.

    Jai Bharateesha,


  6. selva kumar said:


    but the situation is topsy turvey in this age of kali. with money giving everything to what man and woman wants, where then is the need for her to please her spouse or for that matter the husbands need to please his spouse?

    what then is the way in this kali age if man’s and woman’s sattwic mindset becomes vulnerable in a husband-wife relation?


    • we are talking about those who see marriage as a sadhana .Those who r not of satvik mindset they are vulnerable in every karma of theirs why alone marriage or husband . they seek selfish means and end to their own pleasure rather than others . satvik mindset is only one which takes pleasure in giving pleasure . But then there can be many issues with this attitude , some may do it because they may get appreciation , some do it to control spouse , some may do it to show their superiority , some may do it keep their name upright in society as most satvik ,some may do it because they may not have any other option , some may do it as drudgery , some may make it a routine to keep themselves amused . all these will fetch temporary results . Only when done with intention to please pati antargat HARI then it brings MOksha .


      • selva kumar said:

        thanks a lot for clearing my doubt chiraanji. in fact your reply brings me the memory of my grandmother who supported my grandfather in his spiritual pursuits in every way and she too amidst her hectic domestic life, did her own sadhana by doing japam and her life came to a close on the holy day of vaikuntha ekadasi.


      • Respected Acharya,

        Our family has a history of this tradition of serving the husband as Shri Hari and in my generation even I have been fortunate of having a wife who is one of the most satvik person in todays world. Half of my problems do not exceed their strength only owing to her satvik gunas. My grandma till date elongates the longevity of my grandfather owing to her Krishna bhakti and selfless serving of my grandfather. Mother gave up her entire life in the service of the fathers wishes. One feels really fortunate when one has a wife who is with him in thick and thin and works hand in glove with the husband in worshiping Shri Hari and Mata Laxmi. The most important trait is when in such age, the wife holds the beads of the house together with her calmness, intelligence and desire to give the entire family the best. I must have sure done some great punya in past birth to have such wonderful wife and principled parents and religious grandparents.



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